Tuesday, April 12, 2016

My Not-So-Exciting Story

Once upon a time...
I am a girl.

Rosy or bronze cheeks~
It all depends.
Nude lips, sometimes red~
Arched shaped eyebrows,
Contacts or specks~
Messy buns
Fancy up-dos.
Straight shiny hair.
Long, short, or medium length.
A bohemian princess look
Or a dancing wave of strands.

Wrapped in grey,
Black and blues.
No glitter, nor bedazzle
No shiny things.
Pastels, neutrals, and rainbow brights.
Skirts, dresses
Pants, and exercise

Brown eyes,
Because they say black ones don't exist.
Simple, and ordinary--nothing to make heads turn.
Spontaneous and adventurous
Legs too long
Waist too small
A million defects
For nothing to show

Yet...

Strong and weak
Tall and small
Proud and loud
Much less and stressed
Servitude and attitude
Altitude and longitude
Passion and love
Full of dreams to stream
So many whispers and secrets

Have you ever opened a box and realized it was a treasure box, but only after you saw what was inside?

Sunday, April 3, 2016

A Goodbye in Silence

You don't realize it, but you have been saying goodbye for a while now. You used to hold on tightly, and now your grip is looser. Your goodbye has just been slowly, steady, at the paste of farewells. Your memories are filled with happiness that do not emanate from me. Smiles that paint your face with glowing sparkles of blue.

A silent goodbye would be more appropriate at this time. I could simply slip through your hands, like water. I could dissipate into the air, rise to the clouds, and rain down in tears. I never thought to feel invisible in your arms, but you have too much to smile about to notice me anymore. And as much as I wish to only be broken, I can't help but be thankful that your smiles will keep me smiling.

Happiness isn't free. It never has been. It's not pain free either. So much pain dwells beneath every laughter and every smile. Every golden memory cost someone pain, suffering, and sacrifice. I have learned that my happiness comes from a sting of pain, as I watch others be happy away from me.

Life is a small tender treasure box. So much silence awaits. So many smiles in masquerades. So much without you to learn. I will keep silent, I will not say what I should have because I have learned that there's too much happiness in your life to be occupied with my tiny world. And I love my tiny world. And I want to keep it tiny, because it's the only way that I feel belonged. Your world is too big for me, yet there's no room for me either.

So I'll stay in my quiet and tiny world and I will wave a goodbye in silence.